This is something I wrote a while ago but after some constructive and very similar criticism that I was given about the end I chose to rewrite it. Initially the way this poem ended was, whilst positive completely unrealistic. The feedback I’ve had basically said the same and rightfully so.
I believe I may have fixed the problem.
Oh Please Mister Policeman
Oh please mister policeman, oh please let me goes.
You’ve bloodied my face and you’ve broken my nose.
I’m all banged to rights, caught me hook line and sinker,
For demanding my rights I was thrown in the clinker.
And the biggest of gangsters, the worst of these frauds,
Are the fat cats and judges, the peers and the lords.
For it might just surprise you when you here me say,
Its these same lying bastards handing over your pay.
So they all call to motion and sanction new laws,
These folk are the worst of the welfare state whores.
Whilst you’re on your knees, begging cap in your hand,
They continue to leech from what should be our land.
The easiest ruled are the easiest scared.
They stripped back the fat and the rod was not spared,
And all the time claiming their god given right,
But the truth is they stole it like thieves in the night.
Please do not succumb to the vast web of lies,
You are, it is clear, working for the bad guys.
Don’t think they’re not watching to keep you in check,
From the second you’re born there’s a leash round your neck.
A contract was written that you never signed,
Government property, body and mind.
You never agreed but you are just a slave,
As you’re born with a debt that will never be paid.
So open your eyes and raise up your voice,
Disregard all the bullshit you still have a choice.
You may be a slave but our number is vast,
This system’s corrupt and it clearly won’t last.
So please mister policeman, please let me go,
Especially now that you know what you know.
He tightened my cuffs and he said with a wink,
You’re in for a treat,
We hang people who think….